Edited by si.boolat
Dulu, membaca blognya adalah drug grade A untuk aku. Semacam enlightenment untuk minda aku berfikir tentang banyak benda. Buat aku rasa lebih bijak.
But not anymore. Eversince I realised that he has fast becoming a hater. Like he's the only one with problems. To be honest, I find it extremely annoying reading his blog. It is always and will always be about the same old bullshit.
Dulu, aku pun pernah macam dia. Complaint about every single thing that went wrong with my life. Bak kata lagu The Cribs "Ones who find everything is awful black days when nothing is pleasing and everything that happens is an excuse for anger. Hate the world, hate the rich, hate the happy, hate the complacent, the TV watchers, beer drinkers, the satisfied ones..". Then I find myself revolting so I stopped and choose to change instead. Bukan berubah untuk jadi kental atau apa, tapi berubah sikit demi sikit untuk jadi manusia yang appreciate all the littlest things that I still have. Shits will happen to you no matter what or where. So why bother hating the shits? Why not make peace with shits? I'm not suggesting conformity but why do people have to dwell in shits rather than letting go of it?
For simplification, aku ambil contoh diri aku sendiri. Aku baru beli kasut ballet flats. Dua hari pakai, tapaknya tanggal. Memang aku marah. Beli di kedai yang pada aku branded, tapi kualiti tak ubah macam kasut pasar. Mungkin kasut pasar lagi tahan. So, aku ada dua option, samada minta replacement from kedai tu (which could take days or months) or I could simply sew/ glue it myself in few hours and lesser cost. Since I needed to use it fast, I did sew it up all by myself (The gam gajah didn't work). Did all that in office, mind you! Talk about desperation.
Point is, because of that, I was no longer mad and in less than few hours I'm already a happier person. All because I took some risk for the option I chose and be responsible for my own choice. Even if it were to fail, I always figured that I'll think of some other options then. What doesn't kill, only makes you stronger, beb.
Kesimpulannya, sudah-sudahlah membenci. Kita semua ada choice. Memang, selalunya untuk sesetengah orang, choice yang ada itu sangat limiting dan kejam. But isn't that what makes it all so interesting? Tolong faham, dunia ni tak dicipta dengan unsur-unsur keadilan (nothing to do with the opposition political party). Yang wujud hanya kontra. Dan kalau betul dia tak mahu exist dalam dunia ni dan anggap yang dia tak patut dilahirkan, then go. Commit fucking suicide! Prove that you really mean what you said!
Memang aku marah. Bukan sebab aku benci. Tapi aku mahu dia faham yang dia gagal bukan sebab dia dilahirkan. Pada aku, dia gagal sebab dia give up. Dan dia paling gagal bila dia tak tahu langsung rasa thankful. Tak tahu langsung hargai pemberian orang lain ataupun apa yang dia ada. You can blame your own mother for giving birth to you, blame god, blame fucking everybody else - but don't for a second, expect that your life can be better by doing this.
...Cos' to me you asked for all the wrong things and therefore, you got it!
Shit.
